We’re All in the Same Ocean, Just Different Boats

If you live long enough, you begin to realize that most people have faced seemingly unendurable obstacles and still thrive.

The pool (and, of course, the locker room at the pool) are the places where I have forged many enduring friendships. The best thing about the swimming pool is the wide variety of people you meet from all different backgrounds, ages, and walks of life. One of my favorite swimming buddies is now a rising senior in high school. Livia is a great swimmer with incredible underwaters, a maturity well beyond her physical years, and an unrelentingly positive outlook.

At the opposite end of the age spectrum are my Tuesday and Thursday swimming partners - Terry and Larry - twins who take turns in their lane. Larry kicks with fins or swims for 50 yards and then Terry swims 50 yards of pretty competitive side stroke. Both Terry and Larry are retired from work and fully employed in enjoying retirement. They too have faced health and other issues and have come out on the other side smiling, happy, and living the good life.

One of the first people I met at my current pool was my friend Huynh who always lets me share a lane with him. Huynh immigrated to the US from Vietnam. He fought on the “wrong” side of the Vietnam war and ended up in a North Vietnamese prisoner of war camp for four years. Earlier this year, I saw a man at the pool who looked almost like Huynh, but not quite. I waved from across the pool and there was no smile and wave back. When I was leaving, I walked up to the man and said, “You look so much like my friend, Huynh, do you know him?” The man smiled and said, “I am Huynh with no teeth!” He pointed to the pool deck where there were two complete sets of false teeth waiting for their mouth.

Left: Huynh Pham and the author. Right: Huynh, the author, and Terry (the side stroking twin)

When I asked Huynh if I could write about swimming with him for this blog, the first thing he told me was that he has run Bloomsday for the last 21 years and medaled in his age group every time. You might think that someone who lost all of his teeth in a POW camp would carry a different self image, but you would be wrong. Huynh is a committed athlete and likes to say that any day at the pool is a good one. He’s right.

When I was enduring cancer treatment, a friend and I were talking. She was going through a really tough time and we were commiserating. Her comment was, “We’re all in the same ocean, just different boats.” This idea, that we all face rough waters, has stayed with me. In fact, these days, I look for people whose lives have been tempered by tough times. Often, people who have faced the unthinkable are the most resilient, the most ready to laugh, and the most kind. Just like my friends Huynh, Terry and Larry.